Reframing Your Past

A Focused Free Write: At this moment in my life, things are coming full circle. Past choices and their results resurface. Similarly, habits of choice bring about events that rhyme with past moments. The idea that seems to surface in my mind throughout all these ideas and the words people bring my way, is that acknowledgment that you stay with yourself for life; when life starts to bend back on itself, and you stop running and look back and realize: you are with yourself, your ideas goals beliefs for life [but you can be worked and sculpted to suit your desire and purposes]. This is natural. Its beautiful. Because it causes you to understand that ideas survive? What you knew in your heart was real, you are forced to acknowledge as real. At the same time for me, it has brought me back to art. To making. In this moment of reflection, I crave to revisit myself and observe the rich landscape I have become. Acknowledge myself as a collection of ideas and experiences. These experiences need you to come back [??]. There's parts of yourself that might be emerging more frequently now, but when other parts of yourself you forgot exist come out, and now is the time to understand the factors at play in making those experiences possible.

WARNING EXPLICIT: A Free Write Confessional: I have had: the best sex of my life in the staircase of universal studios done drugs in the desert, surrounded with washed out crusty drum and bass heads craved to have sex with a stranger and hated in the next day all sweaty in a stink of rotten sweat, feeling like bones covered in white glue loved someone and extended the joy with Vicodin listened to all the good music first and now im dry fucked early and fucked bad got an std in the same life i have: felt up and seriously made out with the most beautiful french girl in the world had a friend kill himself watched the mid thirties hobbyists launch beautiful model boats in the pond and wished to play fell in love with my imagination of the tattoo lady who lived on the third floor got busted for trying to look at paris hilton by my friends mom found my same friends mom kama sutra book and sex toys, which were shown by my friend, which made me think she would have been more open about things had a gay man cheer me on to look up said photos took a pilgrimage to an architectural destination and peed myself in the bathroom smoked lucky strikes and drank prossecco on the roof walked through the rooms of houses of people of my childhood. i was getting a tour of life and had no idea, now these places are gone, i dont have access taken a shower from a sack of water hanging from a tree imagined i was flying and had to focus to leave the ground Life is beautiful, its so rich. I've already seen it all in a way. Nows the time to appreciate all the stories I have in my back pocket. Trace their origins, learn about them, and construct them into my own life. HALLELUJAH