Your Taste, Your Attractions will define what you end up with

The music of Moderat reminds me of Canada, of my childhood enemies Grant and Elise, two names I haven’t written since I was a child. My head went cloudy, I made out with ___ last night. Now the reaction is that I feel a part of me that was and is doubtful of what a relationship between us would look like. There is definitely a sense of motherliness about her. Also she is so clean, pristine, untouched, natural and healthy; a truly alive person. Yet what she finds funny seems childish -- isn’t that what I wanted? No its beyond childishness. Also what would it feel like to be dating her and then hanging out with ___ and ___ all the time. And ___, they would all become my close friends, as they are her close friends. I know who they are, I can feel in my gut their idiosyncratic form of being a young adult that finds itself to be naïve and a little introverted and childlike. Is childlike really the right word to use? It seems that what I find myself contending with is a belief that theirs is a poor sense of taste. What is my taste even comprised of, however, and what can I really call meaningful about anything in American culture except the fact that it does all revolve around personal experience, whereas greek music and culture im sure revolves around the experience of the group and home? American music, American youth experiencing this product of music that has been delivered from a far off place, the individualistic music I listen to, is nighttime music, music for when no one has a face, and were all just dancing, and the mystery is stimulating. Some of it may come from a collective, group place, but in our postmodern style to re-appropriate, we acknowledge these works as a sort of social artifact that is paid homage to and our personal sensibilities are thought to be enlightened and at a level of superiority. Almost like collecting objects, like a packrat. Like a rapper who has too many cars. Like the soulless center of materialism. Where are the people you love in this experience? You distance yourself as you pursue yourself in this abstract form.